Silver
by gone4good22
Summary: Standalone, but can be paired with Fall Back Into Me. This is House's thoughts on his realtionship with Wilson. Warnings: HouseWilson Slash hinted at, SONGFIC and Spoiler for Season 4 finale and beginning of Season 5


Silver

Disclaimer:  
Me; author, poor alone and does not own David Cook, Andy Skib or House  
David Shore; Rich, owns House, not the author  
David Cook; Rich, owns the song silver and himself (and possibly Andy Skib)  
Andy Skib; not so rich and owns himself

**  
When writing your history  
I will always be a footnote  
A distant memory  
A warning sign of mistakes made  
The kind that you learn from**

Looking back on my life I guess I realize now how much time I spent with Wilson. He ended up becoming my whole world. Now that he's gone I realize I'm just a passing fling for him. I'm going to be a memory, a warning not to fall for anyone because I'm a pain in the ass. I only hope Wilson learns from me and my many mistakes. I was just another participant in his quest to fix the needy and to feed his addiction, after all Wilson's addicted to needy, helpless people he can try to fix and don't I just fit that description perfectly.

**This song is the best of me  
Taking pills for solemn motive  
A better side of me, an open mind  
For mistakes made  
The kind that you burn from**

Amber died and I didn't. He's mad at me because he wants someone to blame, Hell he said it himself. I wonder, does he blame himself for my stupidity? I mean Come on, _I_ pissed off a guy who broke my hand so I could get Vicodin_. I_ was at fault not him. I take my pills to cope with, well how can I phrase this EVERYTHING!! They don't show a better side of me or a worse side of me, I just am. I have an open mind, I just don't care. I make mistakes, hell being an addict was a mistake, and of course I'll burn in hell for it but what the hell.

**So take this small confession as my price to pay  
I've never been the kind to let go  
But before you up and walk away  
I'm miserable without you, you know  
This silver leaves me longing for gold  
Second place has never carried me home**

Even in my own thoughts these words are hard to say, expressing myself has never been easy. I allow Wilson to leave because I know I drove him away. I just hope _he _realizes how damn miserable, not only my ducklings are going to be without him there to take the edge off my comment but also how miserable he is going to be without me. But I thought he couldn't stand to be second place to everything else, now I realize I couldn't stand to be second place to his wives and girlfriends and anyone else in his life. I want to be the only person Wilson cares about and I drove him away. Huh, well that sucks for Wilson, He's missing out on me.

**This song is so out of key  
I'm trying harder just too even  
These memories of you  
A warning sign of regression  
The kind you never learn from**

I just realized that without Wilson I fall further into my NOT-depression and seem to revel in memories of the times I spent with him. Ah, what fun we had, the first time we met was interesting too, so much fun was had those first few days, and now I've gone and ruined it, jeeze I'm an ass. I never learned form being alone. It's true too, I guess Wilson was right after all, being miserable only makes me _more_ miserable. But whatever, I'd be miserable with him here and I'll continue to be miserable without him here. **  
****  
This song is the melody  
Meant to show you a little more than  
A better history, an open sky  
Of redemption  
The kind you always burn from**

Wilson always said I had a lovely voice but I think I suck. When I sing its only for him, it's a way to my fucked up world. I think he couldn't handle it and left because of it but that my opinion and I'm always right so that made that completely pointless. I'm going to burn in hell for everything I've done, but it'd probably help if I believed in Heaven and Hell wouldn't it? Wilson could have been my one chance for Redemption but I don't care. He'll come back eventually and when he does, I'm not going to change and neither will he so whatever. What happens will happen, there's nothing we can do about that.

**_FIN  
_**  
A/N: House is a pain to keep in character. He's like my worst nightmare as an author. House is the kind of character that you want to give a heart but if you do He's OOC. I hope I got the heart across without taking away form House as everyone knows and loves him but what can I do. Once again I don't own the song Silver nor do I own House. I just play in their worlds.


End file.
